10 Things a good wife should have Don't let her go if you find her. I spend a lot of time writing articles about how men can improve th...
10 Things a good wife should have
Don't let her go if you find her.
I spend a lot of time writing articles about how men can improve their relationships with women. Be more polite, caring, understanding, and talkative.
This, of course, makes people wonder why I don't talk more about what men want.
Even though I've written a lot of articles on this subject, it's still a good one to come back to every so often.
And since I just got married, this is a good time for me to think about it again.
So, what should the guys look for when they're looking for a life partner?
1: She is busy with her own "stuff."
In the dating world of today, I think men are in a tough spot (or rather, many tough spots). At the same time, they want a woman who isn't needy or smothering. But they can't get used to the idea that a woman doesn't need them either.
The truth is that you can't do both.
When you meet a woman who has built her own life outside of a relationship, she will be busy. She will be at work or running her business. She will meet up with her friends. She will work on her skills at the studio... She won't always be there for you whenever you want her, either.
Why is this a good thing?
It shows that she has enough ambition and drive to be on your team. She's not sitting at home waiting for Prince Charming to show up. Instead, she's out in the world making a life she loves.
That means that if she chooses to spend time with you, it's because she wants to, not because she doesn't have anything else to do.
Being chosen by a woman is much more valuable than being needed by her, and it makes your relationship even stronger because you both chose to work together.
2: She is a very funny person.
When Rachel and I first started talking almost 3 years ago, constant laughter was one of the things that helped us get along.
If you know our story, you already know that we met at the start of the pandemic and talked online for 2.5 months before we finally met in person.
We would laugh so hard during our video chats that we would cry. I'd laugh out loud at her texts. I thought that she was funny.
Humor is a kind of medicine that can't be replaced. It gives you more joy, smiles, dopamine, and happiness as you go through life.
You already knew that it shouldn't be used at the wrong time, to make fun of other people, or in a rude way.
There are a lot of times in life when being able to laugh with someone will make it better. It will make that movie more funny or maybe even make you feel better.
You might even fall in love with her over and over again because of the way she laughs.
3: She cares about people.
Even though you have to be funny, life isn't always rainbows and sunshine. You've already been there, so you know.
You already know what it's like to deal with problems by yourself and what it's like to have someone there to help you. Sharing your pain and giving you the strength to keep going.
And you know how it feels to do the same for them.
This is why compassion is so important. To connect with others when things are hard. So that we can build a stronger base together. To know they care about you and will stand with you in the fire.
No matter how hard we try, we can't avoid problems and heartache in this life.
How hard those problems are to deal with will depend a lot on who you choose as your life partner. Someone who is real, kind, and warm can help with these problems.
If they are cold and distant, you'll feel even more alone and without hope.
If, on the other hand, they move closer to you and give you a place to feel your rawest emotions as you work through them and come out stronger than before, then they are someone you should keep.
4: She waits her turn.
Guys, let's face it: we all mess up.
I mess up more than I would like to admit.
It's easy to say the wrong thing or just not say the right thing.
To fail. To find out. To fall down. To get up. To fall down. To fall short.
Life is a journey of learning, and even if we want it to look like we know everything at any given time, we don't.
The woman in your life will know the most private and important things about you. She'll know that the photo you just posted on Instagram was a lie because you're having a bad day.
She will know about your worries because you trust her enough to tell her.
If she is short with you and doesn't wait her turn, it will add to your stress and make things worse.
But if she can be patient, like you are when she needs it, it will give you the time you need to figure out what's going on.
Even if "figuring things out" means learning how to love her the best way. Even that takes time. And that, too, takes some time.
5: She wants to get ahead.
We've already talked about how women have their own "stuff" going on. What that "stuff" is will depend on how ambitious she is.
A woman who is spinning in circles is very different from a woman who is driven to reach her big goals.
When our Justice of the Peace spoke at our wedding, she told our guests that Rachel's drive is my favorite thing about her. I said she can't be stopped, and it's true.
When we first met Rachel, she owned a 14,000-square-foot indoor playground, was raising two kids on her own, and was about to open another business when the pandemic hit.
Our relationship stayed strong even after she went bankrupt and then came back stronger than ever in a new field.
We moved from an apartment in the city to a house in the suburbs on a cul-de-sac.
Both of their schools are private.
We've been able to reach every goal we've set as a couple because we agreed early on to work together.
It's not about things, but about making a life together.
If any of us didn't have ambition or drive, we never would have gotten this far...
We wouldn't be excited about how far we know we still have to go.
Your spouse should be your lifelong teammate, and teams only win when all of the players always do their best.
6: She is grateful and gives back.
If you're like me, your number one goal in a relationship is to make your partner happy. You enjoy doing things for them that make them feel important, loved, and cared for.
But if you're really like me, you know how it feels to do these things for people who don't appreciate them.
Over the years, we have all helped people who didn't deserve it.
But it's rare to find a woman who truly appreciates what you do for her and works just as hard for you.
7: She stays the same.
If you're going to spend the rest of your life with someone, it's best to know what each day will bring.
We all have bad days, weeks, and sometimes even months.
We can have problems, feel sad, or lose something.
We can be in a bad mood.
But every day will be easier if we know who we really are and what we stand for. It will help us stay true to what we believe and what we value. It will make sure that what we promise to our partner is real.
If someone changes over time, it's hard to trust them or feel safe around them. Over time, a partner must prove themselves to you, and you must do the same for them.
During the dating phase, if she shows you that you can count on her, that she'll work hard for you, and that she'll be there for you every day, that's worth more than gold.
This is why it takes so long to build a relationship: you want to make sure you're making a commitment to the right person, especially if it's "till death do us part."
8: She's hot.
Okay, okay, take a breath...
You are wrong about this point.
Being sexy is a state of mind. It's not about how you look, how you dress, or how lucky you are in the gene pool.
Being sexy means being sure of yourself. It's about two people who enjoy being with each other in a deep and full way.
It has to do with feeling connected.
We all know that men are visual creatures, but we are all attracted to different things. There is no one thing that all men find attractive.
What matters is that you both find each other attractive, hot, steamy, seductive, etc. Okay, I'm done.
It's how she acts, how confident she is, and how she thinks.
It's special and unique when you and your partner can create a private and intimate experience that brings you closer together as a couple.
If you keep stoking that fire, neither of you will ever get tired of it.
9: She is difficult to understand.
Yes, sex is fun, and it's important to keep it healthy and interesting for years to come...
But in the long run, sex alone won't keep two people interested in each other.
You also need to have your mind and brain challenged. To find new things to do together. To tell each other what you think, even if you don't agree. To have their intelligence challenge them, wake them up, and set them on fire.
A partner who makes you think will keep you from getting lazy. They won't just talk about the weather and the Kardashians. They'll have real hobbies and interests that you can share with them, and they'll do the same for you.
10: She puts herself first.
No, I didn't say she's self-centered.
Self-care, on the other hand, is an important part of keeping a relationship going.
Why?
Because if someone doesn't pay attention to their mental or physical health, it can hurt them in all parts of their life.
They might become less focused or less sure of themselves, or they might get sick or hurt more often.
If you want to build a life with someone, you need them to be there as long as possible.
No one is helped when people forget about their mental or physical health.
It's not selfish to take care of yourself. In fact, it's important because it helps you connect with and care for the people around you more deeply.
Putting yourself first once in a while gives you the strength to be your best self when you're with other people.
Every one of us is searching for something different in a lifelong partner, but I believe that these qualities serve as a universal foundation that love, trust, respect, and partnership can be built on.
From there, you’ll discover an infinite amount of traits that you love about the person you’ve chosen to spend your life with…
10 doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface.
That’s what makes lifelong love magical, though — it’s a journey of discovery and learning…both about your partner, and yourself.
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