When you do these 10 things, she will feel loved. When it comes to relationships, I've always had one main goal, which has become ten t...
When you do these 10 things, she will feel loved.
When it comes to relationships, I've always had one main goal, which has become ten times more important to me now that I'm married: to make my (now) wife feel as loved and happy as possible.
Does this mean I'm perfect and never do anything wrong? HA! Talk to her about that.
What it does mean is that I try my best to fix any mistakes I make and spend the rest of the time trying to make sure she "feels the love."
1: Accept her for who she is.
She has been compared to other people her whole life, and she has done the same to herself. Whether it's her looks, her level of success, or the pressure she feels to get married or have kids... Women are judged and put under a lot of pressure by the people around them.
This is one of the many ways you need to show her that those things don't really say anything about who she is. Her beliefs, moral code, and values—the things she holds most dear.
She wishes someone would see through the fog and not care about her crooked tooth, thin hair, or the fact that she's already past the age she thought she'd be married...
None of these things are a reason to love her or not love her.
Seeing her as the woman she really is...
The woman who is reaching out is the most real and unfiltered version of herself. She wants someone to see her and value her.
2: Try to get her to trust you.
Most guys try to sell themselves to a girl, but that's not the way to earn her trust.
Guys like to impress women, so they talk about their famous friends, how well their business did last year, how they valet their Porsche in front of a fancy restaurant, and how great they are.
thinking that it's exactly what she wants to hear.
She already has all of these things, so she is stuck, bored, and rolling her eyes while waiting for the check to come so she can take an Uber home.
Most men don't put in the time and effort to earn a woman's trust. To show her that he is more than just a successful businessman with a lot of cool toys.
For one thing, all of those things can be gone in an instant.
For two, none of that shows what kind of person you are. Even if you've been successful in business, that doesn't mean you'll make a good life partner.
When you show up regularly, call when you say you will, and stick by her when things are hard, you show that you're a man of integrity.
These are things that money can't buy, but are much more important.
3: Don't be in a hurry.
Think about it: if you really love someone, you're probably thinking about spending the rest of your life with them. Marriage, perhaps. For always, for sure.
Life is short, but it also lasts a long time.
Depending on how old you are, you probably have decades and decades of life left. And even though you want "forever" to start as soon as possible, what's the hurry? After all, it's always.
Things happen when they happen. Emotional and physical connections happen naturally, and people move into what they're ready for when they're ready for it.
If you try to move things along faster than is natural, you might end up pushing people away instead of getting what you want.
Instead, showing her that her needs are more important than yours by respecting her pace and what makes her feel comfortable (we'll talk more about this later) is a strong sign of how much you love her.
Don't get me wrong, if two adults are happy to move things along at the speed of light, that's great. When it comes to pace, there is no "right" or "wrong." There is only what is right or wrong for each person.
4: Don't try to hide from her past; find out about it.
Some people still think it's weird to talk about exes, but I think relationships can be stronger when you understand where someone is coming from and what they've been through in the past.
Obviously, you're not looking at your partner's previous relationships to find out about their private lives.
But if they've been hurt in the past or if something has changed how they think about love, relationships, or men in general, it will help to know what those things were and how they changed their view.
This way, you can learn from the mistakes other people have made and know when a problem isn't about you but about something from her past.
Trust me, this will make your lives easier for both of you.
It will also show her that you want to know everything about her, not just the good things.
5: Tell her your secrets, too.
In point #2, we talked about how important trust is, and how trust must go both ways.
She'll know you're all in if you're willing to let your guard down and share things with her. There was good, bad, and ugly.
If you’re worried about scaring her off — think about point #4 and how these things need to go both ways in a relationship.
If you can accept her past but she can't accept yours, she was never the right person for you.
If you have good reasons for keeping things to yourself, it's important that you're not the same person you were when those things happened. If they happen again, you don't want to drag her through the mud.
But most people who read this will agree with the idea that sharing your deepest thoughts and feelings with each other makes your relationship stronger. The parts that no one else can see or hear.
By being honest with her and letting her in, you show that your love is real and true.
6: Let her strength make you proud, not scared.
I think a lot of men think they want a "strong woman" until they actually date one.
When they see that a woman has a life outside of the relationship, they realize that they're not needed.
But let's look at this from the other side: That's something good.
Why?
Because it shows that she wants to be with you and isn't just depending on you out of desperation or dependence.
This makes your relationship stronger because it's based on the right things.
Not to mention that being with a woman who can reach her own goals will make you want to reach yours even more.
You will be able to work as a group.
You'll have someone you can count on and rely on by your side.
Someone who chooses you every day when she wakes up, and you choose her every day.
Someone who has done things that you can be proud of and tell your friends about.
Letting her spread her wings is a way to show that you love her for everything she is and can do, and that you are confident enough in yourself to know that she will always come back to you, no matter how far she flies.
7: Get REALLY close to people.
Some guys reading this article are waiting for the part where I say, "Oh, and make sure you have a lot of sex!"
Yes, as I've said many times, a healthy sex life is very important for keeping a relationship going for a long time, but sex is not a sign of love. A lot of the people reading this have had a lot of sex with people they never loved.
Intimacy, on the other hand, is a strong emotional bond that you and your partner share outside of sex...
that is something far stronger and more valuable.
Also, it takes much more work.
Having sex is easy, but getting close takes time, work, and a willingness to be vulnerable.
But here's the catch: your sex life will be much better and last much longer with someone if you're really close to them. The emotional connection is much stronger than the physical attraction, and it will make you want to be with them in a whole new way.
8: Merge your lives into one.
You really care about someone, so yay!
But she can tell you aren't sure because you may not share her interests very often and you don't invite her to share yours. Maybe there are people she hasn't met yet in your life...
Even though you might not think much about some of these things, she might be worried about them.
"I don't understand why he never watches that show I like."
"Why haven't I met his cousins, who he talks about all the time?"
"He never asks me to (fill in the blank with something you do often)."
She might feel like you're keeping a way out open so that things don't get too complicated or tangled up.
In order to build a life with someone, you have to merge at least parts of your lives together.
Yes, you can keep your interests and hobbies, and no, you don't have to do everything together...
But the point is to be interested in things that interest you. To show that you want to merge your two lives...
You would only do that with someone you really love.
9: Find out what she wants.
I don't just mean what she needs from the grocery store or coffee shop, though you should always be willing to do those things, too.
I really mean to ask her what it is that makes her feel loved. Talking about the book "The Five Love Languages." Wants, desires, fears, and fantasies are talked about.
You can read all the articles, hire all the coaches, buy all the books, and go to all the seminars...
But at the end of the day, the only person who can tell you how they feel about love is the person they are falling for.
The best person to ask about her is...herself.
10: Love YOURSELF.
Yes, this article is about loving her, but you can only do that if you love yourself.
You see, when you love yourself, you feel safe and secure.
When you feel good about yourself, you can be open with her and tell her the truth about who you are, which is important.
When you feel good about yourself, you can let her live her life without always worrying about what she's doing.
When you're sure of yourself, you're more sure of yourself around her, and you can tell her that when you're alone.
When you're sure of yourself, you'll have more authority at work and be happier with the results you get, which will show in all parts of your life.
When you feel good about yourself, you can put her and her needs first. You don't have to be the center of attention all the time.
When you try to love yourself, you become a better man, plain and simple.
A man who can give and receive love even better.
A man who really wants to live a long and happy life with his partner.
A man who protects her.
A father who takes care of his children.
A guy who takes care of himself.
A man who takes the relationship seriously.
This is the essence of real love.
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