The 15 things every man should know about women From an early age on, guys are drilled with the same message: Women are difficult. They are...
The 15 things every man should know about women
From an early age on, guys are drilled with the same message: Women are difficult. They are quite complicated! To put it simply, they're mysterious.
In my opinion, there are two facts that must be prioritized if we are to counter this story:
First of all, you don't have to worry about being able to comprehend all ladies. They're not something to be tested in the lab. Spend your time and energy getting to know the lady you might see yourself spending the rest of your life with instead. In this situation, she is the only one who matters.
If you make an honest effort, you'll see (sarcasm) that women are just like the rest of us; their desires and needs follow many of the same patterns as everyone else's.
Some guys will always appear to have "figured out" women, while the rest of us treat dating like an obstacle course.
How come these supposedly "elevated" males know things that the rest of us don't? Hmm, let's see what we can find out.
No. 1: She insists on receiving support even now.
Neither her degree nor her wealth is relevant, my dear comrades. It makes no difference how much power she has at work, how many people she has, or how expensive her pants suits are.
At the end of the day, what counts is that she is and always will be a woman, regardless of anything else may happen to her.
A lady who has wants, needs, desires, and profoundly felt emotions that she may not always convey to you despite their constant presence.
To be clear, this does not imply that she is a damsel in distress who expects you to come to her rescue by footing all of her financial obligations while she gives up her work in favor of a life of couch potato indulgence (though, it might).
If she asks this question, it suggests she is unsure of whether or not you can "be the man" within the parameters of your relationship. That her strengths are not the only ones you bring to the table.
you have the resources to make a difference, whether or not you choose to.
Anyone making such a lifelong commitment to another person must be confident that their future spouse will be able to fulfill their own obligations. What if there's a problem with our health? When we (ideally) reach old age together, she may be the one in need of assistance.
Are you planning to attend? Could you do it? Do you think you can pull it off?
When considering whether or not to accept anything, she asks herself these questions.
Second: She's too busy to wonder if you're serious right now.
After a certain point in life, people lose all interest in playing video games.
Women that are mature and committed to their careers aren't going to wait around to see if you're on the same level as her.
I mean, how do you make it clear to her right away that you mean business?
You've been constantly reliable. You really put in work on your dates. You don't just vanish for several days. You're quite interested in what she has to say and do. You're really curious about what's been going on in her life. In return, you introduce her to the things that genuinely interest you.
The catch, though, is that none of this can be faked (for too long). To prove to her that you are a serious person, you must first act the part. That's something we'll discuss in greater depth later.
Third, you need to get your own issues out.
There's a middle ground here; in my experience, the most successful partnerships involve two individuals who are fully committed to one another and willing to stand by each other no matter what. That implies you need to be with someone who promises to be by your side no matter what difficulties you face in life, whether they be emotional, physical, or otherwise (as you do for them).
However, that is not an excuse to bring all of your garbage to her house.
Before entering into an adult relationship, I think it's important for each person to put in the time and effort necessary to develop themselves as individuals, to discover who they are and what they're here to do (more on this below), and to achieve at least a basic level of happiness in their lives.
A partnership can't stand on its own two feet; if even one of its cornerstones is unsteady and crumbling, the whole structure will inevitably collapse.
Fourthly: You're more concerned with how you look than she is.
My individual coaching client greatly underestimates his own attractiveness. But just like the rest of us, he has self-esteem issues related to his physical looks because of the stories society has told us.
We're expected to conform to a specific physical appearance and body type so that we can fulfill a specific aesthetic role.
Men experience difficulties with this kind of strain, too, even though women have endured considerably more of it historically.
However, this client has also come to the conclusion that many of the guys he sees in relationships are simply unattractive.
He didn't understand until we went through what it is that modern women want.
Sure, it would be nice to be with someone you're attracted to, but that kind of superficial focus on wants is very male-dominated.
Not shocking coming from a man.
On the other hand, physical attractiveness is not a reliable predictor of a person's quality as a romantic partner. They aren't the type to stick by your side during the rough times. They certainly don't want to behave in a kindly manner.
What they got (or didn't get) in the external appearance department as a result of the genetic lottery has very little to do with how they're feeling on the inside.
It's no surprise that attractive individuals can also have attractive personalities.
The inverse is also true.
That's the point: no one should expect anything certain, especially women.
If she doesn't feel comfortable and secure with you, it won't matter how well looking you are or how chiseled your jawline is.
Fifth, just because she's powerful doesn't mean she wants to dominate you.
A lot of guys like the idea of dating a strong woman, but they never actually do it, as I said in a recent post.
It's a common misperception that "powerful women" seek to dominate males. should accept their proper role in the community. To take up the role of the "masculine" partner.
That's usually simply nonsense spread by cowardly males who are paranoid for no good reason.
A woman who brings her feminine power to a relationship wants her strength to mirror yours so that the two of you can complement one other and foster harmony.
She is afraid of seeming dominant or competing with you.
She isn't on the hunt for a little dog that can fit in her handbag.
She wants a companion who can teach her and teach her from her.
She hopes he is confident enough in himself to return her feelings of respect, love, admiration, and education.
The sixth piece of advice is to allow for some degree of exposure.
When two individuals are able and willing to be vulnerable with one another, they form stronger emotional relationships.
You are included in this, yes.
No matter how hard individuals try to act, we all experience the whole gamut of human emotions.
The only true distinction is the degree to which we represent them to the outside world.
In my experience, the healthiest relationships consist of at least two people who are both willing to risk being vulnerable with one another.
Who listen to one another without passing judgment.
who trust one another enough to talk about how they actually feel. The ability to admit when they're struggling and seek assistance. To not hide the fact that they're struggling.
This is crucial because, without it, you will never be able to bring together all the many parts of yourself; those walls may have been built to keep the sorrow out, but they may also keep the joy and love out.
7. TIME is more valuable than "things"
All right, I guess we can agree that lovely things are enjoyable. Occasionally exchanging gifts with others is a lot of fun, and we can all agree that it's nice to have presents.
We work hard to keep up appearances, but what really matters is the time we get to spend with our loved ones, not the Louis Vuitton bag we just purchased her.
This may seem corny to you, but I'll guarantee the ladies really get it.
Those who don't trust me should picture themselves in an unhappy relationship where they try to fill the voids with material possessions. A continual need to buy something as a means of making amends. Buying new shoes or jewelry won't solve an issue, so don't try to cover up your mistakes with them.
Working the way you do gives you the time to be together, which is priceless because it allows you to cultivate a genuine relationship and appreciate the short time you have on this planet.
This is the wisest use of your money.
8. She is looking for physical attraction.
Let's put forth the effort to fix the damage that texting and social media have caused...
Sending her a message like "you look hot" won't make her feel desired.
It isn't the feedback she's received on social media.
It's not just empty praise for her physical attractiveness (cf. point #4).
Feeling truly desired is a more profound and significant emotion.
It's about being acknowledged as a woman and a person, and treated as such.
Your success will depend on your ability to see and value the details that were missed by others.
It's in the way you hold her, how you speak to her, the way you gaze at her...
The special treatment she receives from you that she has never received from anybody else is quite remarkable.
She feels physically and emotionally drawn to you in the little moments. This is what makes her feel that she knows you on a deeper level than just a physical level, and it will always be more appreciated than superficial physical praises.
NINE: You have to WORK FOR her trust (for a variety of reasons).
The reality is that many men are simply terrible.
Lie, cheat, manipulate, and even abuse are commonplace.
Many of it.
(Don't worry; I'm aware that many ladies also stink, but that's not the point of this post.)
That implies her history with men throughout the years has probably been... a bit... checkered.
She sustained an injury. Everyone has been lying to her. He or she has ghosted her. She has seen it all, and then some.
This only solidifies the sad truth that she will have some stereotypes about guys that have nothing to do with you.
Is that right? No.
Could this possibly be happening? Yes.
To prove your uniqueness to her, you'll need to take charge.
Even if she doesn't first believe you, if you're truly unique, you'll put in the work to prove it.
This is for the best, since a strong tie formed after she has come to know you for who you truly are will be far more difficult to sever than the initial attraction that led her to believe otherwise.
Item 10: It's the little things that count the most.
While everyone is familiar with the saying, how many of us can actually appreciate its depth of truth?
Showing your partner that you care may be as simple as remembering their favorite sweets or as thoughtful as giving them their favorite coffee or a "I miss you" text at an odd hour of the day.
Things that are often disregarded.
When batting, most men aim for the outfield seats. Massive displays of affection. One of those "if I just spend enough she'll realize how serious I am" scenarios.
The problem, though, is that literally anyone can do it. Large-scale initiatives seem less daunting when you take a more, well, commercialized approach.
But it's the little things that need the most work. It's evidence that she occupies a significant portion of your thoughts and that meaningful items continually serve as reminders of her.
Nothing can purchase happiness like that.
Even if you are terrible at it, communication is essential.
You don't need research to convince you that women are naturally more eloquent speakers than males.
Healthy and open communication is a vital aspect of having a successful relationship, regardless of how good a communicator you are (this is a skill all individuals should cultivate because it will serve you well in many areas of life).
You have to be able to put into words what you want and what you need.
Listening skills are just as important as talking ones.
You'd better know how to flirt or else people would find you boring as cardboard.
Depending on how it's handled, communication over a relationship's lifespan can either produce or resolve monumental difficulties.
She may require you to be quiet and listen to her for a change.
As guys, our natural inclination when presented with a problem is to look for a solution, which makes this situation particularly difficult for us.
A lot of the time, that is exactly the wrong thing for her.
She may just need you to listen if she has anything to unload about.
It's a sign of her faith in you that she's sharing her emotions with you; show your appreciation by listening to her out.
James, what if she wants your opinion or suggestions?
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Then you provide her with some suggestions or feedback. The thought is that it's not the default to seek that kind of feedback.
She's only trying to get some help while she works out the details on her own.
Emotional intimacy enhances sexual satisfaction, as stated in maxim number 13.
Male and female perspectives on sexual activity tend to differ.
In general, males need only turn a switch to start having fun, whereas women seek for deeper levels of connection and intimacy to really enjoy themselves.
In long-term partnerships, this is especially true.
True closeness is more of an emotional than a bodily thing. You may make each other feel more at ease and safe during the encounter by communicating, revealing your preferences, and establishing trust with one another.
The result is a more at-ease state of being overall.
As a result, people feel more at ease around one another.
There is no way to fake any of it; rather, it must be constructed and sustained over time.
14 She requires you to have a solid sense of who you are.
Earlier, we talked about identity, a topic I often broach in lengthy sessions with individual clients.
How you perceive yourself is fundamental to who you are. Your own personal tale and monologue that no one else can hear. Everything you hold dear, your convictions, and your outlook on the world.
Everyday, you let your sense of self influence the choices you make. It depends on the patterns you follow regularly. It determines how much happiness and love you believe you deserve.
Men who are confident in who they are are unwavering in their commitment to that identity. They are not the kind to give up their own needs in order to satisfy those of others. They are not interested in winning the favor of others at the expense of their own ideals and principles.
When you have a solid sense of who you are, she knows exactly what she's getting when she dates you.
That she has complete faith in you.
It shows that your beliefs are strongly held.
It implies that you will act in a steady and dependable manner.
You can't put a price on qualities like this.
To be happy, she must be accepted for who she is.
Her entire life has been spent fitting into categories set by men. Patronized. Overlooked. In other words, she was hired solely based on her looks. Sacked because of how she looked. She has been advised to "cool down" and "relax," that she is "too much," and that she is not enough.
All her life, she has been told a particular narrative about herself and her abilities. A narrative she did not select, but which appears to be universally accepted.
A key to understanding her is the identity puzzle piece we covered in #14.
You've got your own identity, and she has hers.
Where does she truly stand in terms of property? What she truly is, rather than what others have taught her she is.
The identity of this mysterious woman is yet to be revealed.
Where does she excel, what moves her, and what does she think about the things that really matter?
Can you explain her role in this?
These are the most crucial aspects to consider when getting to know and loving another person.
Not her taste in clothing, media, or music, but rather her essential nature.
Nothing can ever make her feel more appreciated than when you fall in love with that version of her, the unfettered, unashamed, unfiltered version of who she truly is.
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